Thursday, August 30, 2007

Journey West

Well, I want to share with everyone a little about the past month in my “Life in the Journey.” Last month, my family moved from Wake Forest to San Francisco for my husband, Ed, to begin work on his PhD. We lived in Wake Forest for three years, welcoming our first son into the family and being involved in an awesome church family.
We did have our reservations about moving away from our church family, but we had always been pretty open to change and thought it would be a fun adventure. We weighed the options of staying in Wake Forest or moving to San Francisco, and decided that we would move. I didn’t want Ed to regret not taking the chance to work on his PhD with a professor he really loved. Plus, if Ed wanted to pursue a career in teaching, he would need to get the degree.
It has been a month now since we moved, and we feel more homesick now than ever before. We are feeling very alone and isolated. There are other couples here on the campus, and we have gotten together with them. I’ve made a few friends. But I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am so sad. We are both feeling it, and we talk daily about what we should do now that we are here and wishing we were back home.
I asked Ed if he thought we made a mistake in coming out here. We both agreed that it was the right thing to do. God had opened the doors for us to be out here, with Ed studying under the professor he really wanted. No, we don’t feel like we made a mistake in coming here. But should we stay? We don’t know.
As I pray about this, I’m reminded that I need to be asking, “What’s God teaching me in this?” I don’t want to miss out on how the Lord is leading me through this. The problem is, I don’t think we’ve figured it all out quite yet. Ed and I agreed that we have learned that our focus and our hearts’ desire is to be molded by Christ. We have felt a lot less emphasis on “what we’re going to do in life” and a lot greater desire to be the man/woman, father/mother, husband/wife that God desires us to be. And we’ve learned just how important family is to us. We miss our church family like crazy. And we miss my family as well.
I’m not sure what the future holds for us. And I guess we are learning that we have to continue to trust in the Lord for that. We are scared to “give up” and go home. Ed doesn’t want to feel like a failure, and I don’t want to let him down. But I know in my head that we shouldn’t be afraid of what people will think about us. God reminds me of the Scripture to “fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith.”
I don’t have any great conclusions, because I don’t feel like I’m at a point of conclusion in any of this. We’re definitely a work in progress. But I want to be transparent in what God is doing in our lives. We’ll keep you posted…

6 comments:

Alan Knox said...

Leah,

First of all, thank you for writing this post. I know it was not easy for you to write, especially since you are right in the middle of all of this.

Our family has been through times like this. We never know how we're going to get through it. But, somehow when we get to the other side, God has been faithful.

I'm looking forward to reading what other people comment on this post. This is life... real life...

-Alan

Aussie John said...

Leah,

The answer to your dilemma lies in your own words, "We both agreed that it was the right thing to do. God had opened the doors for us to be out here,...".

May the lord give you peace.

Aussie John

Lew A said...

Hey Leah,

Thanks for sharing your struggles. I am and will be praying for you and Ed. Kati and I are planning on moving to Georgia soon and we worry about facing some of these same issues.

I hope you continue to share what God is showing you through these struggles.

Thanks again,
Lew

Dinah said...

Hi - I've been visiting this blog occasionally and am moved by your post, Leah. I can relate to several aspects of your journey. Leaving a good church family is never easy. After our time came to leave our church, I recall looking over the faces in the directory, yearning to be with them, missing them terribly. I was definately sad. I'll caution you to not make a mistake I made... I began to remember them more fondly than I actually knew them... then the opportunity came for us to return to the same body, and I understood the saying "you can't go home again". It was not what we remembered. I love your approach; to ask the Lord what He is trying to teach you in this. Many times we step out in faith, and the Lord allows the experience to grow our stride even larger... I don't know if that means learning to love your new home, or returning to family - but as you seek Him and allow Him make the things happen for you, He will not let you miss it. I don't think you can fail when you are following the Lord's leading.

Renata said...

Hey Leah,

Adjustments are difficult, especially in this stage in your life. It is hard to go through this right now, but you will come out of it. It is a season in your life. May God show Himself as comforter and friend.

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